{"id":191,"date":"2020-03-09T08:20:19","date_gmt":"2020-03-09T08:20:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/anielloinf.com\/sanborncounty\/?p=191"},"modified":"2020-03-09T08:20:19","modified_gmt":"2020-03-09T08:20:19","slug":"5g-rollout-in-sanborn-county-ruled-complete-success-by-district-judge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/anielloinf.com\/sanborncounty\/5g-rollout-in-sanborn-county-ruled-complete-success-by-district-judge\/","title":{"rendered":"5G Rollout in Sanborn County Ruled Complete Success By District Judge"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Welcome back, Sanbornians! We\u2019ve got some hot news today \u2013 after\na year of being tied up in court, the district judge has declared that our\nfriendly local cellular provider has been entirely exculpated in our county\u2019s\nlawsuit against them for rolling out their 5G antennas without sufficient safety\nstudies!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It all started when the cellular provider began switching their antennae online and local bird populations were immediately decimated<\/a>. Just, falling straight out of the sky<\/a> mid-wing flap. Considering our fair county\u2019s previous problems with bird attacks and vast flocks of vultures periodically descending into the town, we all considered this a blessing. The opinion polls I put out during these invasions considered the large, dark birds lining the buildings and silently watching us to be \u2018quite unsettling\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then came the random bouts of gibbering madness experienced\nby the people who lived and worked nearest to the cell towers. Very few deaths\nwere reported from these rampages, but there was a significant level of\nproperty damage. The murals drawn on the sides of town buildings were in fact\nconsidered to be quite enriching!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What I think may have been the last straw for the county,\nhowever, was the complete destruction of all male resident\u2019s fertility. Male\nresidents initially complained of a strange and unpleasant tingling sensation,\nwhich eventually transformed into terrible agony before blissfully fading into\na general numbness, at which point many of us grew quite doughy and indifferent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doctors observing the affected population called the\ncondition, \u201ccomplete testicular destruction\u201d and caused quite a panic in everyone\nexcept the stricken population. Luckily for our cellular provider, the judge\ndisagreed that the company was at fault and instead blamed our local water\nsupply, leaving the victims and their family without any way of paying for\ntreatment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On a related note, just in time for the ruling, a new business\nhas moved into the area to help with the sudden jump in marital problems \u2013\nShuff Law Firm, the premier family\nlaw firm of Santa Ana<\/a>! The firm decided to open up a branch in our county\njust as the lawsuit was winding down and the gag order was lifted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The good folks at Shuff Law Firm have been serving as\nattorneys in the Orange County area since 1974 and have provided countless\nclients exemplary legal service during the firm\u2019s tenure. Originally run by the\nsenior Shuff as the Law Offices of Joseph A. Shuff, III, the firm rebranded\nitself in 2006 as it brought aboard his daughter, Tamara, and expanded its\noperations. Regardless if you\u2019re in the midst of a tough custody<\/a> battle or\nare just in need of legal counsel for a potential separation, Shuff Law Firm\ncan help you get the legal council you need to prevail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, if you\u2019re in either our humble (and sterile) county or\nin the Santa Ana\/Orange County area and are looking for the best family law\nattorney in the game right now, don\u2019t hesitate to give Shuff Law Firm a call.\nYou won\u2019t regret it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shuff Law Firm<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(714) 834-0175<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2634, 2107 N Broadway #301, Santa Ana, CA 92706<\/p>\n\n\n\n